how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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