Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
