We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
