i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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