Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
