Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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