theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize