Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
