Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
