I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
