hell yes lets make some ravioli
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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