I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
