White coat. Heels.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
