I must be too annoying 4 u.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
