I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
