Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
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