Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
