wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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