We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
