My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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