Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
why is half of my head shaved?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
