dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Maybe he injected his testicle?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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