I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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