i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
