The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
