Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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