This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
