so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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