He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I love you.
Bad choice
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
