great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
