i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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