i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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