no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
