You really coming over, don't trick.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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