tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
