you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
