I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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