Yo dont text me then not text me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize