there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
