R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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