Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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