I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
