East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
