so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
