it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
