i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
