I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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