hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
