sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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