i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
