ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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