Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
