I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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