i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
