Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
