would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
