You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
