i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
