trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
