She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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