when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
