Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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