There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
