I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
