miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
