Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Houston, we have a blender
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize