Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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