Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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